Fluff and Scruff
by WritingElephant
Summary: Judy and Nick lost their virginity to one another in university before parting ways. 8 years later they are brought together and come to realize their connection is still very much alive. How will their strange relationship effect their new lives? BIG FAT AU
1. Chapter 1

"But I hate your dares! They're always so embarrassing!"

"I think you might be missing the point of the game, fluff."

"Haha. You really do have a knack for finding new and different ways to mortify me."

"It's a gift."

Nick settled down next to Judy. They were lying on the floor in Judy's dorm, surrounded by a pile of crunched up beer cans.

"C'mon Carrots, take a chance," Nick pushed. "No one likes a truther."

"You're so annoying. Fine. Dare."

Nick bolted back into sitting position, pumping his fists in the air. His eyes scanned the room, hunting for the dare to end all dares. Judy repressed a shudder, partly out of fear, but also because he looked really cute when he was scheming. Finally, his eyes settled back on her and his best shit-eating grin crept along his face.

"I dare you..," he whispered, "to touch your nose with your tongue."

Judy blinked.

"Are you ten?"

"Physically? No. Mentally? Up for some debate."

"Whatever happened to your urge to brutally humiliate me?"

"Perhaps it disappeared with my sobriety." He patted in between her ears.

She stuck out her tongue, but it barely made it past her massive two front teeth. Her eyes narrowed and Nick knew he had made a massive mistake. That look meant trouble. She. Would. Not. Be. Stopped.

The next few minutes consisted of grunting noises and honestly, more saliva than necessary. Judy eventually resorted to cursing, which was particularly comic considering her tongue was lapping along her upper lip. But after a time it stopped being funny and became kind of scary.

"It's getting boring now, Carrotsss," Nick moaned.

She mumbled something, but given her tongue was occupied, it was unintelligible. Nick rolled his eyes.

"C'mon, stop it."

"Nuh-uh."

"Yuh-uh."

"Nuh-uh"

"Hopps…"

"NUH-UH."

That was all he could take. He pounced, ignoring her little squeal. He landed on top of her and closed his paws around her wrists. He growled and her tongue slid back into her mouth. They both froze. They became very aware of their positions.

"Of course you couldn't just fight fair," Judy murmured from underneath him.

"It's called a hustle, sweetheart."

Despite their cockiness, his words were laboured. Their breathing seemed to have gotten ten times louder. His fur tingled where it made contact with her's. Judy let out a breath.

"Are you really leaving?" she asked in a small voice. Nick sighed. He rolled off her and focused his gaze on the ceiling.

"Yeah, I'm really leaving."

Judy groaned. "Why did we even meet?"

Nick shook his head. It was a good question. They're actual first meeting was, after all, a freak accident. He flew off his skateboard into her picnic. She had been so angry. Nick remembered wondering how someone so small could be so terrifying. His natural sarcasm had done little to help matters.

And then their tottering friendship began. Their pull to one another had been inexplicable. Judy was a bright-eyed, determined creature; ready to grab life by the balls. Nick was far too angry at life to want anything from it. These were qualities that sparked both admiration and frustration in one another-and were ultimately incompatible. The two could not exist together without one of them being quelled.

And now Nick was leaving college and therefore going down a path that went against everything Judy's life was about. Whatever small connection they had been able to keep alive without destroying one another was about to be terminated.

So there they were. Lying side by side; a little bit drunk and a little bit sad. Nick wished he could think of a joke, something to turn them back into giggly idiots so they could forget for one night that they were impossible. But, for once, words eluded him. The silence grew more and more tense by the second.

Judy rolled onto her stomach and looked him in the eye. She looked like she was thinking hard about something. She opened her mouth, then closed it. This set off alarm bells with Nick: Judy wasn't usually one for trepidation.

"What is it, Carrots?" he asked, his voice soft. Her violet eyes focused him.

"This is gonna sound stupid," she warned.

"That's never stopped you before," he said, comfortingly. She forced a giggle and Nick felt his stomach sink. Whatever she had to say _must_ have been serious if she wasn't going to snark back. She started picking lint off the carpet.

"Well, the thing is..," she began. "Well I… see what I'm trying to say…"

"Spit it out, Carrots."

"I think we should have sex."

Nick broke into a coughing fit. He sat up and doubled over, while she patted him on the back, silently cursing the fact that she had ever been born. He finally caught his breath and straightened up. His eyes met hers. He looked like she'd told him she was planning on getting a very intricate vagina tattoo.

"Judy…"

"Don't say anything," she blurted. "I know It sounds weird. But you're gonna be gone soon. I know you've never done it before either, you told me that time you got drunk at Fru Fru's party. And I want to share this with you. Because you're my best friend… and I'm gonna miss you… and… ugh."

Judy clenched her eyes shut and waited for his laughter, for his sardonic remarks. She was close enough to feel his warm breath gusting onto her face. She started to count.

 _One breath_

 _Two breaths_

 _Three-_

Nick smashed his lips down on hers. She barely kept herself from leaping across the room. All his prior hesitation was gone. He had a gentle precision to his kiss that was almost smug. She couldn't help but think that it was a movie kiss. She entangled her paw with the fur on the back of his neck. He let out a contented sigh.

They broke, but kept their faces inches away from each other. Their breathing was heavy. They stared at each other, wide-eyed, wondering how on earth this happened.

"Say something" Judy wrasped.

"I thought you told me not to say anything" he muttered. She gave him a shove and he responded by pressing his forehead against her's.

"I've wanted this for a really long time," he whispered.

"Me too," Judy murmured back.

Nick smiled. He scooped her up so her face was buried in his chest. She luxuriated in how soft he was.

"Wait, really? Are you sure?" Judy queried.

Nick snorted and without warning, tackled her again. His paws wound back around her wrists and his pelvis pressed firmly in between her legs, pinning her in place.

"Leave it to you to ruin the mood, Carrots."

She let out a gasp. Before she could say anything he was kissing her again. This kiss was different, though: It had a certain urgency to it. His mouth moved against hers, hungrily. Their tongues were entangled and every now and then his teeth would graze her. It felt like an age old dance. She was his prey, he was her predator: one could not could not exist without the other. She gripped his fur tight.

He pulled away and she yelped in protest. He laughed and placed his paws on either side of her face.

"How about we move this to the bed?" he proposed. She giggled. She had forgotten beds and moving existed.

They hopped up, still a bit wobbly from the drink, and stumbled back onto the bed. They landed in a sort of limby heap and kissed clumsily. He was so soft against her: she felt like she was fading into him. She felt his hardness begin to press against her stomach. All of a sudden she was very aware that the only time she had ever seen a naked male animal was when she was twelve and her big sister had dared her to watch a porno. It hadn't been a pleasant experience.

Nick shifted off her abruptly and pulled off his shirt. More out of an awkward sense of gratitude than anything, Judy followed suit. They both looked at one another's chests, then back up to each other's faces.

"I'm really nervous," Judy admitted. Nick released a breath and smiled.

"So am I," he said, caressing the side of her ear. "It's not too late to back out now, Hopps."

Judy snorted.

"Me? Back out? Never."

Nick laughed and kissed her. A caring sort of kiss.

"It's not too late for you either, though. You know that right?" she muttered against his mouth.

"Are you kidding me?" he asked, now kissing along her jawline. She found herself gripping his fur again as he kissed further down her body, pausing around her breasts, but eventually making his way down to her waistband. He looked up at her from between her legs with that cocky smirk on his face. He yanked her jeans off and she squealed.

He laughed and, almost mockingly, rubbed his pointer finger over her panties. It elicited a gasp from Judy and Nick's eyes lit up, like a child who just figured out how to work his new toy. He ran his finger over her again, this time applying more pressure. She moaned. He was doing well.

She pulled him back up to her and kissed him. Her hand glided down to his belt and began to unbuckle it.

"I want to do it now," she whispered.

"Someone's hasty," he whispered back. She smiled and shifted both his pants and underwear down. He finished the job, then stripped her of her panties. They took a second to regard each other.

"How did this happen?" Nick asked no one in particular.

"I don't know."

Before she kissed him again, he noticed she had tears in her eyes.

"Now," she whispered.

And he was inside her. They both gasped out for air. Nick wondered if he was hurting her. Judy was relieved that it didn't hurt as much as she'd imagined. She kissed his neck to tell him it was alright to move. He slowly began to move his hips. As his movements gradually built up in speed, Judy felt all she wanted was for him to find his way deeper. It was a kind of desperation wholly unfamiliar to her. And then it was all over.

She thought he looked innocent when he came. So different than the smartass she knew. He had managed to knot, so he was more or less stuck on top of her, his forehead pressed to hers. Sweat dampened their fur and their breathing was raspy and uneven. Judy couldn't help but start to cry. This was their grand finale, she thought. And even as he held her and told her everything would be alright, he couldn't change that fact.

And so, she kissed him and silently bid him farewell.

 **Thank you so much to ADeadMissionary for beta-ing. And thank you for reading this! If you could take the time to review this I would be very grateful. Let me know where you would like the story to go from here. And if you have feedback please don't hold back. I need it! Happy reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

Judy didn't notice she was ferociously tapping her foot until the journalist ahead of her in line turned to glare at her. It took her a nanosecond to avert the cheetah's gaze and berate herself.

 _Get a grip_. _He probably doesn't even remember you._

Virginity loss is traditionally considered a significant life experience, but when one reaches a position where they can sleep with anyone, in whatever manner imaginable, one's memory of a drunken tryst from eight years ago might just fade away. Or at least, that's what Judy was betting her career on.

It was the irritable journalist's turn. The second he entered Nick's, no, Mr. Wilde's, office, Judy heard her foot resume its thumping. Her eyes flitted around the waiting room, feverishly; mapping out all possible exits. She indulged in childish fantasies of superpowers like time travel or the ability to bend the rules of gravity to suit her whims. Oh, how she would love to bounce out the window and survive the thirty-something story drop. That would certainly get her out of there faster than the elevator.

"Miss Hopps?" the sloth receptionist's drawl tore her from her pipe dream. "You may go in now."

What?! But didn't Grumpy McGrumpster just enter a few moments ago? Did time itself have a vendetta against her? Judy edged towards the office, taking tiny steps. She resented the receptionist for opening the door for her; she could have used more stalling time. She suppressed a huff and stepped into the office.

She saw him before he saw her. It was like staring into the sun, literally. His office was too fucking bright. Almost every surface, including the walls and roof, was made out of glass and those that weren't were a disarming, hospital-esque shade of white. It created a dreamcatcher effect, throwing and reflecting rainbows everywhere in the room.

It almost seemed that the light was coming _from him._ His orange fur was like flames rising off him. And those eyes… His green eyes had never been that striking in photos, nor her memories. She half expected lasers to shoot out of them. She wasn't sure if it was his eyes or the harsh sunlight that caused her eyes to water. Thank god he was focused on fixing his cravat. His very flamboyant, neon blue cravat.

Hadn't time been slipping through the gaps between her fingers before? Now his paws seemed to move against the fabric in slow motion. Part of her wished for relief from the anticipation, but another part of her dreaded the moment when his eyes would find her, for fear they would send her staggering back. Then there was the part of her that was mortified she was gawking at him like a starstruck teenage girl.

At last satisfied with his adjustments, Nick looked up at her. His face was blank. For one relief and disappointment fraught moment, Judy thought he really had forgotten her. But the silence stretched out too long to be indicative of simple indifference. He had been staring at her so long, she would have asked him if he was alright, had she been able to. She thought they might have been cursed to turn into statues, but then his lips twisted up into a smirk she had half forgotten.

"Of all the gin joints, in all the world..."

He bounded across the room and threw his arms around her. Despite the abruptness of his embrace, their collision had not been harsh in its impact. His hand gripped her shoulders and back as tight as he could without hurting her. He moved with a gentle sort of intensity. The scent of his no doubt expensive cologne invaded her nostrils. His fur rubbed against her own, its coarse texture creating friction. Could he feel her shaking?

He pulled away from her and she released something between an exhale and a maniacal giggle. His eyes were alight as he gripped her shoulders. She actually jumped at the contact: two feet in the air. He didn't seem to notice.

"Well, I'll be damned Hopps. How many years have it been?"

She had meant to just smile and laugh but realized too late that she was just saying "ha" repeatedly. Though he was still grinning, his eyes narrowed. He could tell she was uncomfortable. The shock of her materializing in his office must have subsided.

"You alright there?" He quirked an eyebrow and Judy's panic worsened. How was she supposed to think of something to say when her stream of consciousness only consisted of various curse words? Nick cleared his throat while her own throat clogged up with all the things she was supposed to say.

"Yes… um, thank you, sir! It is… grea- nice to see you… again." _fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck_ her mind serenaded her. She sounded like a bad actor delivering terrible lines. It was an awful strain for her not to facepalm. Nick just eyed her, amused and curious. She frantically scoured her mind for something to say, but eventually she gave up, letting her shoulders slump and her so-big-it's-painful smile slip off her face.

"Look, I don't mean to be rude, but I've only got fifteen minutes to complete this interview. Can we keep this… professional?"

She kept her gaze fixed firmly on his ridiculously shiny tile floor; despite it reflecting light straight into her eyes. She didn't dare to look at him, but she heard him gently chuckle. Then she heard his footsteps as he crossed the room and sat down behind his desk. She shifted her weight from one leg to the other.

"Please, have a seat, _Miss_. Hopps."

She scurried up to the seat and sat down with an awkward plonk. She chanced a look at him. He still smirked his smirk, but his eyes were no longer alight and friendly. They were knowing, calculating, and so fucking green. Judy forced herself to hold his gaze. The last time she could remember being this flustered was when she started at The Zootopia Times. She needed to get a hold of herself. She put a stop to their staring contest, still feeling his eyes on her. She righted her posture and for the first time, properly took in his office.

Despite the modernism of the architecture, the decor was anything but minimalistic with roof high shelves stuffed with hardbacks and video games. The art on the back wall (the only wall not made out of glass) were not posters of the games the company had produced or anything normal. Instead, Nick had apparently decided to just frame a whole lot of memes and stick them up there.

"You like the meme wall of fame?" Judy made herself look at him again. He hadn't moved an inch. His eyes were still fixed on her and his lips were still locked in their grin. Was this how it would have felt if they had run across one another a few million years ago; to be a prey locking eyes with its predator? She found an excuse to look away in turning on the sound recorder on her phone and placing it on his desk. For the first time he looked away from her and eyed her phone as if he was terribly amused by it. Judy took the opportunity to get on equal footing.

"It's certainly not what you expect to see upon walking into the office of the C.E.O of a 7 billion dollar company."

He chuckled at her words as if she was a child who had said something endearingly ignorant. She gripped the arm of her chair.

"What exactly were you expecting?"

Judy didn't answer. She just stared at him. She wondered what nineteen-year-old Judy would think if she could see her now. The nineteen-year-old Judy who was set on winning a Pulitzer. The Judy who thought of this intimidating fox as her best friend. She probably never even considered she would reach this point; forced by her own hand to sacrifice her journalistic integrity, scrambling to gather up all the broken pieces of her career and cutting her hands on the shards. She could have cried right then. And if his demeanor was to be trusted (though she had a feeling it wasn't), he would have laughed in her face. Now, she thought, was the first moment in her whole life where she had truly given up.

"You were born to be a businessman." The words flew out of her mouth like a cough. Yet, she couldn't muster any shame for her bluntness. She met his terrible, beautiful eyes without difficulty this time. His smirk had shrunk a little; no longer spread across the whole length of his muzzle.

"Well, of course, I'm aware of this. But may I ask what about my beautiful gallery of internet comedy inspired this comment?"

"Everything in this room is off-putting. Your decor displays a total understanding of your target demographic. A demographic that couldn't be further away in age, personality, and interests from those you would host in this office. You are essentially saying to your clients and partners: 'I know something you don't.'"

His smile stretched back to its full capacity and this time it actually reached his eyes. She could hardly believe he had been staring at her so shrewdly just seconds ago. Now his eyes were so warm she could hardly bare it.

"Having the sun blaze straight into your guests' eyes is also a nice touch." Judy took that as an opportune time to wipe away the moisture that had been forming in her eyes. Nick giggled gently and leaned back in his seat.

"To be honest, I just wanted an excuse to wear sunglasses indoors" he chuckled. He smiled so amiably at her. He seemed to actually be making an effort to make her feel comfortable. Judy was immediately suspicious.

"You seem to have me all figured out. It's a wonder you even felt the need to interview me."

His jab was not malicious, but playful. This gave Judy more incentive to ignore it all together.

"Along with your supreme business instincts, your humanitarian efforts have also inspired a lot of praise." She made an effort to sound as robotic as possible, like she was reading off a page. He raised an eyebrow.

"Praise from who?"

She opened her mouth to reply, but he intercepted her with a rather obvious trap. "From you?"

She frowned at him. "Of course, Sir." His smile faltered.

"You seem ill at ease, Miss Hopps."

"Not at all." Judy cleared her throat. "As I was saying, you have used your platform to be vocal about various social issues. And your philanthropic efforts have been nothing short of admirable. I was wondering if you could tell me about what prompted you to put so much stock in humanitarian ventures?"

Nick chuckled again. "Come on, Judes. You're smarter than that."

Her eyes widened so much it felt like her eyelids were stretched over her forehead.

"I'm sorry?"

Nick was unmoved, lazily fiddling with his cravat in the fashion a cartoon villain would twirl a mustache.

"Well, why does any C.E.O show an interest in world issues? I thought you would have assumed it was a marketing ploy."

Just when Judy had regained equal footing she was knocked right back on her ass. It wasn't that his eyes were bullying her again. He looked at her with nothing but warmth, curiosity, and a hint of teasing. She was stunned because he was right. On paper, the question was tacky and contrived and unlikely to draw out any real insight. All because she had written the question with an enraged, downtrodden college student in mind, rather than the head of a corporation. She really had messed this up.

"I guess you're right. I think I… I think I just got the impression that you were rather… passionate."

"I wonder where on earth you got that impression from."

He smiled at her with such affection, she couldn't help but smile back. For a moment they just looked at each other. There was not a sound, except Judy's brain screaming at her about how inappropriate this all was.

"Nick?" she murmured. His eyebrows shot up in delighted surprise.

"Yes, Judy?"

"When is Until Fawn 2 coming out?"

Again he laughed. Not his appreciative little chuckle though. It was a proper belly laugh. Judy's eyes began to sting again. She wasn't sure if it was because of the sun this time.

"Nice try, sly bunny. Nice try."

. . .

As the sun abandoned the city, the heat stored in the tarmac rose up to thicken the air. The chances of getting a good night's sleep without having several fans pointing at you were zero to none. Judy used that fact to rationalize why she hadn't just gone home. It was all for the sake of the power bill.

She waited for Nick by the fountain outside his building. Some naughty beaver children were splashing about in the fountain. Judy was tempted to join them. If only the consequences of her bad behavior were as innocuous as a telling off from her parents. Judy indulged the devil on her shoulder and dangled her feet in the water. It wasn't as if she could make an even bigger fool of herself at that point. Or smell any worse, for that matter.

She stared up at his building. All thirty-something stories of it. As if he'd been waiting for her to look, Nick came strolling out of the revolving doors. She yanked her feet out of the fountain, splattering water all over the pavement. She could see him shaking his head in the distance. If she was a fish she would have leaped into the fountain and stealthily swam down the drain.

When he finally reached her he gave her a very stern look and exclaimed that she was "such a degenerate!" But before she had a chance to feel guilty, he rolled up his pants and stuck his own ankles in the water. She gave a combination of a sigh of relief and a snort and returned her feet to her original position. Their feet floated side by side. She couldn't help but silently acknowledge how nice they looked. She turned to look at him. He, of course, was looking at her already.

"So where are we going?" she asked.

"I'm taking you out to dinner, Carrots!" he winked at her and she couldn't help but giggle.

"I forgot you used to call me Carrots. That's kind of specist, you know."

He clutched his chest. "Carrots, you wound me." She laughed again, this time embarrassingly loud.

"Should we head off?" she proposed as a poor attempt to cover herself.

"As you wish!" He made a show of offering her his arm. She stared just stared at it.

"You okay there?" he used the arm was offering to nudge her. She shook herself then grasped it.

"Yep. Let's go." Something in his sideway glance made her feel he wasn't buying it, but he didn't press further. They took Nick's towncar to the restaurant. Given the state of traffic at the time when afternoon started to turn into evening, they would've gotten there quicker on foot, but Judy got the feeling Nick wanted to prolong their time together as much as he could. As he cracked jokes with his driver, Judy pondered what had prompted her to accept his invitation. Just how far did she intend to take this?

The restaurant was at the tippy top of yet another daunting skyscraper. Nick guided her into the lift, one hand hovering over the small of her back. They were both silent on the lift up. Did the casual gesture of his touch seem as _there_ to him as it did to her? Was he even thinking about it?

The lift doors flew open and they were in wonderland. It became apparent to Judy that her sweat stained blouse was not exactly the appropriate attire for such a venue. It was the fanciest lobby she had ever seen in her. Every surface was shiny enough to make a magpie swoon. Pink and blue lights colored in the air like felt tips. They added a hint of prurience to the establishment, but somehow avoided even the slightest tarnish of its sophistication.

 _Ahhhh_ Judy thought. _This is where rich people come to get laid._

The beautiful wolf hostess, who was probably only working there until her modeling career took off, greeted them with a quaint smile, careful not to expose her teeth. They followed her to the dining area and Judy did a poor job of suppressing a gasp. It seemed Nick had booked out this entire five-star restaurant. Looking at the selection of tables made her heart race. It reminded her of trying to decide where to sit in a shrink's office and the paranoia that where you chose would reveal some unseemly truth about you. When he proposed they will sit by the window, Judy was so relieved she could've danced.

He guided her to a circular table and pulled out a chair for her, positioned to give her the best view of the city. Rather than taking a seat across from her as she had expected, he sat in the chair right next to her. They just stared at each other, waiting for the other one to give something away. Judy knew she could only eat once she had untied the knots in her stomach, so she fixed her gaze out the window. Somehow the vertigo of looking down the far drop was less nauseating than looking over the grand empty restaurant -or at him for that matter. A glance from the corner of her eye told her that her unease lubricated Nick's ego very well.

They might as well have been back in his office. He had taken on the role of journalist this time. Every move he made specially designed to bait her into the reaction he wanted. He was trying to win the evening. It was a battle of the wits again -though this time without the malicious edge. Judy still wasn't sure how she felt about it.

"Sorry," he said, unapologetically. "I'm showing off. We can go and sit in a ramen shop or something if this is a bit much."

"No. This is really nice." He cackled at her instantaneous reply.

"You still like a challenge. You still start blinking at top speed when I do something to shock you."

Her breathing fell out of rhythm and she disguised it with a scoff. "Are these the games you play with your business partners?"

"Oooooh look at Carrots with her journalistic intuition! Well, sweetheart, you're close, but this is a different sort of game. A lot more fun, in my opinion."

They stared at each other for a moment. She kept her face blank, refusing him even the slightest hint that his words had an effect on her. But she knew he could see right through her. That glint in his eyes was so bloody knowing.

"You still don't fight fair. You're still very cunning."

He tapped a ba-dum-tsh on the table and Judy was already cringing that she had stooped to his level. She evaded his mocking gaze and looked out the window again. She stared through her reflection and down to the crumb-like creatures below. The fickle city lights did little to illuminate them. She barely heard the waitress come and take their order. Hell, she barely heard her own voice. She was engrossed in watching the little specs and knowing each of them contained a life. If they appeared this minuscule from where she sat, how would they look from outer space? How would she and Nick look? She felt pretentious, but a lump was forming in her throat.

"I don't want to play games." As Judy was saying it she knew it was probably a blunder. Her voice was croaky. Gingerly, she turned her head to gauge his reaction. She was met with no playfulness whatsoever, but worry. The smirk that permanently resided on his face was nowhere to be seen. His green eyes were wide like that of a little boy wondering if he had taken his mischief too far. Her sudden shift of mood seemed to have rattled him as much as it had her. Her lump increased in size. How could someone she hadn't seen in almost a decade be capable of looking at her like that?

For some time, he just kept staring at her. His face was unmoving, but Judy could hear the wheels turning in his head. Finally, he leaned back in his seat and spoke.

"Okay, Judy."

The loss of proximity had ought to have given Judy a release of tension, but he was still staring at her in such an open way; still calculating, but paradoxically vulnerable. He might as well have been touching her.

"You're different now, aren't you?"

Judy scoffed in an attempt to escape from his intensity. "Speak for yourself, Mr. Wilde!" He made no indication as to whether he heard her.

"I want to ask you something... no bullshit this time. No ulterior motives." He spoke very slowly; as if he was still picking out his words.

"Um... Okay."

"Why did you interview me?"

She blinked.

"You were assigned to me."

"Why didn't you turn down the assignment? It clearly put you in an uncomfortable position."

She turned away. He acted as if they were having a spar of wits, but Nick had commandeered the encounter to a place where he had the upper hand and he didn't even have the decency to let her maintain whatever semblance of dignity she had left.

"Look at me, Judy."

She did just that. "You're not being fair, Nick. "

For a fraction of a second, his face fell even further into worry and a sort of caring apprehension. She didn't feel right about it, but she kept her eyes narrowed and her jaw tight. Never one to back down, he narrowed his eyes and tightened his jaw right back at her.

"Talking in code is boring, Carrots. If you have a problem, just say it."

Judy couldn't be bothered. She shouldn't have come in the first place. She stood up with full intention of stealing out that ridiculous, superfluous restaurant and never looking back. Of course, his voice was the only thing with the power to bring her to a halt.

"Don't go." his voice broke and it was clear that he was not commanding; he was begging. Even when his paw shot up and wrapped around her wrist, his fingers were loose. His eyes were in full laser mode, flicking frantically across her face. They screamed all the things he would never say out loud. She stared down at his hand and he stared up at her. It was a stalemate.

"Please…" His voice was more controlled now, but still unmistakably desperate. "Please sit down, Judy."

Judy clung to her dissipating anger by her fingernails. She didn't want to have to feel embarrassed about her outburst. But something (that something being his stupid, pleading eyes and his stupid, gentle fingers) made her sit back down. A relieved gust of air left him and he removed his hand. Her pride and her nerves kept her from looking at him, but she could still feel his eyes press into her. Heat flared underneath her skin like the moment after you get burned, right before the pain sets in. She would have given her life for something to say.

"Tell me what's wrong." His eyes grew sharper by the second. He tortured her with them -a drastic measure to get her to fess up. He must have known there was only so much she could take.

"I've messed everything up. I don't just mean this interview. I mean everything." She covered her mouth to prevent herself from saying more. She wanted to reach out and snatch the words back. A few seconds went by and he still hadn't said anything. She peaked at him from the corner of her eye. He took advantage.

"Why did you tell me that?" You see, he understood this was a form of surrender. She had no pretenses now, no weapons to fight him with. They stared at one another, both trying to hide that they were short of breath as they both knew that on some level, she had given herself to him.

Judy pretended not to notice they were inching closer to one another, but it was impossible to ignore when he placed his paw on her thigh. Her erratic breathing caught. As always his eyes were challenging her, sizing her up. She stared back in a way that didn't say yes or no. She didn't know the answer either. His fingers began to slide higher: languid, careful. His eyes never once strayed from her's. Her own eyes flitted back and forth between his face and his paw. The pressure of his fingers blazed the fire under her skin. She really thought she would go through with it until one of his finger tips inched under her skirt.

She bounded out of her seat like a jack-in-the-box. He said something, probably asked if she was okay, but Judy's ears were flooded with the sound of her own breathing. It no longer came out in quick, quiet successions, but in heaving puffs. She didn't look at him again. If she had, she would've sat back down and let him hammer the nails in her coffin. Instead, she gathered all her remaining strength and tore herself from that restaurant. Tore herself from his prying fingers and voice. But no matter how far away she got, the press of his eyes still stung.

. . .

She made sure to cry on the subway. Ignoring the shade throwing looks of other passengers, she squeezed every drop of leftover emotion out of her tear ducts. Upon arriving at the station, she rushed straight to the bathroom and cleaned herself up. By the time she reached her apartment door, her eyes weren't even puffy. She put on a smile and let herself in.

Though he had his back to her, she could tell he heard when she came in, because his ears sprung to attention. He unhunched himself from over his laptop and swiveled the swivel chair until he was facing her. He put on a smile of his own.

"Hey, Hun. How was the big interview?" The pitch of his voice was a bit too high. He was pushing through the exhaustion of a hard day's work to be excited for her.

"It was big!" That's about all she could comprehend about it. "Do you mind if I tell you about it in the morning? I'm bushed."

"Of course. If you haven't eaten already, there are leftovers in the fridge." He slumped in something like relief, but kinder.

"You're the best." She went over and kissed him. Just a peck. But she concentrated on it. Something she had been forgetting to do more and more. "Don't come to bed too late, okay?"

 **Uhhhhh helloooooooo... Anyone still remember this story? I'm sorry it took me so long to update. I had quite a bit of trouble with it. I'm not even entirely satisfied with out it turned out. I would never have got it out if it weren't for Timber Wolf's you so much! I'm actually really desperate for a long term beta reader so if anyone's interest please, please, please let me know. If not, feedback in the form of a review would be much appreciated. Don't pull any punches!**


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